Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize