Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The feeling are messing with the penis
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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