If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize