just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
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He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
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I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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