I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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