glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
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