Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
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