Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize