We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
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I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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