just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize