Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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