margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
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HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
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All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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