You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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