He asked to "fluff my boner.."
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize