During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
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She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
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Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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