My nipple is on Facebook.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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