I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
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