I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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