Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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