Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize