he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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