There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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