Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
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he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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