drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
So many bounce houses so little time
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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