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Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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