so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I just made out with a guy for $7.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
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