If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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