I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
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