And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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