two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
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So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
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Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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