i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize