Well douche your snatch and let's go!
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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