She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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