I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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