I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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