his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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