did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
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Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
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If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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