She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
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i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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