Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
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I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
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I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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