tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize