On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
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Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
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I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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