Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
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I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
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Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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