I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
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I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
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Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
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