The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize