Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
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he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
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You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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