i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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