Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
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I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
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Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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