I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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