yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Randomize