Texts From Last Night

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  (914): View more from New York

  ? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?

  (773): View more from Illinois

  jesus mom

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  (914): ? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum? (773): jesus mom http://tfl.nu/qe6d
  Replies (11) Good night (824) Bad night (1767)
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.

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  (507): hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning. http://tfl.nu/ul21
  Replies (7) Good night (2159) Bad night (511) Order T-Shirt
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home

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  (919): Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home http://tfl.nu/42nr
  Replies (59) Good night (2506) Bad night (425) Order T-Shirt
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  (905): View more from Toronto

  Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich

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  (905): Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich http://tfl.nu/gjvv
  Replies (107) Good night (813) Bad night (14682) Order T-Shirt
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  (607): View more from New York

  The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.

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  (607): The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again. http://tfl.nu/rkzi
  Replies (27) Good night (6098) Bad night (678) Order T-Shirt
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.

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  (785): Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both. http://tfl.nu/00se
  Replies (11) Good night (935) Bad night (3689) Order T-Shirt
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  (206): View more from Washington

  Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated

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  (206): Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated http://tfl.nu/xvfw
  Replies (10) Good night (628) Bad night (3006) Order T-Shirt
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down

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  (973): not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down http://tfl.nu/e11q
  Replies (6) Good night (4083) Bad night (1033) Order T-Shirt
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays

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  (608): First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays http://tfl.nu/7wbr
  Replies (7) Good night (1795) Bad night (654) Order T-Shirt
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport

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  (505): Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport http://tfl.nu/iu8r
  Replies (9) Good night (5197) Bad night (812) Order T-Shirt
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.

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  (519): He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier. http://tfl.nu/icz2
  Replies (9) Good night (3548) Bad night (931) Order T-Shirt
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.

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  (701): He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success. http://tfl.nu/xbmk
  Replies (12) Good night (4423) Bad night (526)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face

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  (775): He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face http://tfl.nu/ksnb
  Replies (5) Good night (732) Bad night (406) Order T-Shirt
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  (214): View more from Texas

  They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.

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  (214): They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday. http://tfl.nu/u6e3
  Replies (6) Good night (1023) Bad night (485) Order T-Shirt
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.

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  (734): He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls. http://tfl.nu/b02k
  Replies (6) Good night (1809) Bad night (245) Order T-Shirt

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